Tuesday, September 23, 2014

tuesday tune: don't lose heart

Last Thursday night, my life group gals gathered at my place over apple crisp and ice cream to catch up about life. It had been awhile, and it was so good to reconnect. I shared the struggle I've been having lately with fearing the Big Fat World. The woes of the world can be overwhelming at times. I can feel so powerless and so small. I'm such an empathetic person, and following the news at all can leave me so brokenhearted and defeated, with this jarring feeling hitting me in the pit of my stomach. This has only intensified since I became a mother. It's a fight sometimes to choose hope, joy and peace. But those things, though sometimes so hard to grasp, are real. And they are worth fighting for.

My life group sisters were so encouraging to me in helping me sort through these feelings, and I ended the night feeling such a supernatural peace just remembering the power and goodness of God, and the value of doing what I can, where I am, with what I have. Sometimes it just doesn't feel like enough. But choosing hope, and choosing to persevere in the here and now, in my little corner of the world, can make a bigger difference than I realize.

On Saturday morning, Charlotte and Morgan invited me to a women's event that their church was hosting. Different women in different stages of life were sharing about the joys and challenges that come with each of those stages. There was a young mom who shared about her struggle with fear after her daughter was born. She said she would just hold her and weep, so scared of the big, scary world. And she said she felt the Lord remind her of some things that He's told me, too: My daughter is not mine to keep; ultimately, she is His. Matthew and I are just stewards of this blessing. And God's plan for her life is better than anything I could plan for her myself. Ever since He reinforced that to me this weekend I've been feeling so much more peaceful than I have in quite awhile.

Andrew Osenga's "Don't Lose Heart", written to his daughters, sums up my feelings much more beautifully than I could ever hope to communicate myself:

I went walking through the mountains, taking photos for you, girls
I stumbled on a Coke can, we're not worthy of this world
Cigarettes and wrappers scatter on the ancient stone
and the sky as clear as your eyes on the day that you were born

This place is broken, and you're going to find out
and it's going to hurt so bad
but don't try to stop it
for where you are human you will be healed at last

Don't lose heart
don't lose heart
don't surrender to the fear
we're so glad you're here
darling, don't lose heart

Hate the lies but not the liar
watch the flame but fear no fire
you'll find only mercy in the eyes above
You are strong, you are brave, you are lovely, darling, trust me
Don't settle and don't give up on love

No. We've got to fight the easy life
There's too much going on out there to stay wrapped up inside
Find the things you care about and go on a crusade
Clean your little corner up and see what starts to change


  1. Beautiful, Nicole! Good to hear your thoughts. Life is hard, we are troubled, and there seems no end to worry and fear; and yet God gives us beauty and joy in the world He made, and ultimately He is the one to still our troubled waters and comfort our hearts. Love you friend. Thanks for sharing such a beautiful song. I miss you!!

  2. Wow, what a beautiful song with such truth! Thank you for sharing! As a fellow mama of a young daughter, I sure relate.

    Love you!